Some days I feel like I’m just dragging my life around like a heavy, wet blanket, struggling with the weight of it all. Other days I feel like dancing, but this is not one of those days. I want to throw all of my belongings out the window and start over. I want to ride down the highway and throw everything out.

Of course, I’m coming to realize that you have the choice- you can either dance or drag. In these busy months I feel far more burdened: burdened by loneliness, isolation, materialism, longing. Burdened by my dreams, burdened by the past. I can either feel guilty about those feelings, which I often do, or try to find a way to live through them, really feel them, and come to a day (hopefully soon!) where I feel safe in community, free of the past, and like I’m living my dreams. Until then, I’ll relish the moments of dancing and look at photographs and dream of concerts.

Advertisements