dear erin

i am luxuriating

in the calm spiciness of autumn

bringing me back to the shared rooms in stone castles on acres of land and listening to the noises that remind me so much of those days and smiling inside. dear child, you are not alone. and your memories and delights and dreams are here to keep you company. just last night you dreamed of a sweet boy who pedaled up to you on his bike and offered a greeting. there will be those boys and men with whom your body sways naturally and your heart pitter patters.

this season in the world is begging for you to enjoy it. i hear the blueness of the sky and the coolness in the air and the breeze ask desperately for you to come luxuriate, to come bask it their generosity. there is nothing more and nothing less. respond to life. respond in ways of generous ambition, of giddiness and joy, of peace and prosperity. do what screams of health and deep enjoyment. let your smile glow from inside.

fill up on moments of laughter and love, like the time you spent with rachel and david last night, like every solid sleep, like the tightness in your muscles and like the few moments in the car with maggie this afternoon. your friendships are the ties that are binding you together but you are not the one holding them together- you, my sweet one, are not responsible for everyone’s happiness.

you are enough.

and just being who you are is a delight to the souls of your deepest friends. being the best you and growing inspires others and creates a healthy contributer. you are absolutely wonderful and you don’t have to do anything to prove that to anyone.

your doing will come out of your joy and abundance when you give to yourself with generosity. don’t abandon your luxuries, don’t fall into the falsehood that selflessness is the ultimate way, because a compromising and forgetting of self will compromise your ability and desire to give. feed yourself- with good food and wine, and with experiences, of nature and art and pottery and spirituality and things that give you life. be brave! do things alone. your bravery in your sadness renews me. i am inspired by your punchy attitude, by your attentiveness, and by your jumping in. do more things that feel fearsome. you’ll feel afraid but you’ll be proud and you’ll be richer because of it.

my dear one, you possess such wonder. inhabiting you is courage and desire. live out of that. in your depth is a well of LIFE well-lived and a legacy and contribution to this world. you have nothing ot prove; you have only to enjoy and only to earnestly seek the best and most fruitful life you can fathom.

and fathom you will! i dare you to lay in bed at night and dream, ache of the simple pleasures and gigantic opportunities that await you. i dare you to imagine the mountains you’ll climb, the breaths you’ll breathe, the people you’ll meet, or the mugs you’ll drink from. in the monotony of your life, i’m confident that you’ll discover its texture and glide your hand across it and share how it feels with others.

don’t lose it. take climbs and hikes and laugh until your sides ache. cling desperately to this wonder (i dare you). spread it around. share it with others.

you. are. enough.

sitting there now, or dancing. your body is perfection and you can twirl around with magic. you can appreciate what your senses bring in. you can affirm. you can create. your digestion of the empathy you feel makes each fiber of you stronger and stronger.

inspire yourself. as i am inspired by the dreams and accomplishments of the younger me, i dare you. i dare you to inspire yourself. you are magnificent. thank you for giving me a chance to know you. thank you, thank you, thank you for knowing yourself.

with deep respect, love, and affection,